


The Problem With Cannibalism

by TumblingTroublesomeTumbleweeds



Category: Bleach
Genre: Aizen needs better minions, Bathroom Humor, Gen, Humor, Immaturity, Inappropriate Humor, Nnoitra is a spoon, Silly Espada, crackish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-20
Updated: 2013-11-20
Packaged: 2018-01-02 03:45:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1052141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TumblingTroublesomeTumbleweeds/pseuds/TumblingTroublesomeTumbleweeds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poor Aaroniero Arruruerie has a bit of an…erm…personal problem. What happens when it gets the better of him at a meeting?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Problem With Cannibalism

**Author's Note:**

> Because I can.

 

Aaroniero Arruruerie, the ninth Espada was contentedly munching on the bottom half of the hollow Metastacia

"Yo Aaroniero," he looked up to see Nnoitra Gilga, the fifth Espada's lanky frame leaning in the doorway.

"Y'know we have a meetin' with Aizen doncha?" he said

Aaroniero froze, "I told you we had a meeting you idiot," a deep voice said, "how was I supposed to know? No one ever tells us anything!" a higher-pitched childlike voice piped up.

Nnoitra grinned, "well ya better get a move on then," he said pushing off and wandering down the hall. Aaroniero sighed and began to follow him to the meeting room.

Taking his place between the third Espada Tier Harribel and the tenth Espada Yammy Llargo, he waited patiently for Aizen to begin his speech.

Halfway through the meeting, Aaroniero's lower stomach began to feel funny. At the behest of Aizen, he had taken the form of Kaien Shiba.

He squirmed in his seat earning a glare from Tier. "Would you please sit still?" she hissed and a queasy look crossed Kaien's face.

"Sorry," he said but couldn't help squirming more.

This time Yammy favored him with what Aaroniero assumed to be a cross look, but was really no different from his normal expression.

Aaroniero's stomach gurgled, he wondered what he ate and his mind flashed back to Metastacia. He groaned quietly, why did this have to happen now of all times?

The eighth Espada Szayel Aporro Granz looked at him strangely. Out of all the Espada, Szayel Aporro thoroughly creeped Aaroniero out and that was saying something.

He squirmed some more wishing Aizen would hurry up and finish the meeting.

It felt like hours. Finally, Aizen was about to say meeting dismissed when Kaname Tosen spoke up.

Aaroniero couldn't hold it any longer…right in the middle of the meeting in front of everybody, as Tosen was droning on…Aaroniero farted. Not just a normal fart, a long, loud, wet-sounding fart.

Silence filled the room as all the Espada turned to stare at the ninth. "I told you not to eat the last of Metastacia it always gives us the runs!" the top head hissed. "Well you were hungry too!" the bottom whined.

The silence stretched, painfully so, until raucous laughter filled the room. Now everybody turned to stare at the fifth Espada, Nnoitra Gilga who was doubled over clutching his stomach.

"Aa-Aaa-AAHAHAHA!" he said pounding his fist on the table in mirth. "Aa-haha-roniero-keehee…he…hee hee hee…he…farted! BWAHAHAHAHA!" the hysterical kitchen utensil fell off his chair still laughing.

Everybody glanced nervously at Aizen who had simply closed his eyes. Gin Ichimaru's snickering could be heard as well.

Aizen increased the spiritual pressure in the room and Nnoitra quickly stopped laughing. "Meeting dismissed." he said quietly and all the Espada quickly exited the room, Nnoitra wiping his streaming eye and snickering to himself.

Once Aaroniero was alone, he sighed in relief. Oops, poor Aaroniero wasn't paying attention and he farted again.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Aaroniero muttered something about the intelligence of overgrown spoons and rushed to the bathroom, Nnoitra's laughter echoing around the hall.


End file.
